Don’t say I didn’t warn you

Warning: This post does not have a politically correct lead-in. If you don’t have a sense of humor, look away quickly. But it does have a point.

Years ago, before she was an adult but after she was a little kid, Liz asked me, “Mom, why do some old ladies get bifs?”

Huh? I was baffled.

“You know, butts in front. Where they get round in the middle and look the same coming and going.” (Ohh, BIFs. Note to self: Don’t get one!)

I told her I had no idea but that it wasn’t just old women that happened to – it seemed to be an equal-opportunity experience. And it didn’t seem to be just belly fat but a letting go of abdominal muscles.

I just found another great tool for your BIF-prevention kit: Total Body Pilates with Mini Ball with Lisa Hubbard.

The DVD has a 20-minute and a 30-minute workout and comes with a pretty pink ball to use to amp up the intensity. Hubbard’s voice has the effect of a day at the spa, but the workout is too tough for beginners, unless you’re more like my daughter’s age or younger.

The workouts assume a more-than-basic understanding of Pilates, too, so don’t start with this one if you’ve never done any Pilates, preferably with a live instructor. But if you know what you’re doing, this is a great, great workout.

The first time I did the 20-minute workout, my abs were screaming. Not so with the 30-minute, nor today with the 20-minute. In fact, after a morning totin’ grandbabies, the 20-minute routine realigned my spine, though it took a rather scary series of repeated pops during the hip extensions before it settled down.

I’ve had both rotator cuffs repaired, so I have to constantly monitor and adjust with workouts. (Don’t do the push ups! Back away from the mat.) Likewise, at my age, I have a sticky arthritic spot in my low back that won’t lower like a strand of pearls, but I can plop through it.

There’s no shame in adjusting and admitting you can’t do moves. The only shame is in being sedentary if you don’t have to. I love exercise. But even if you don’t, you could grow to love this one.

Again, only if you know Pilates. Otherwise, please don’t say Lolly sent you if you get a copy.

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